Mentally Prepare for Downsizing Your Home: 4 Tips to Control Your Emotions

Downsizing your home can be a tough emotional road.

When you decide that you’re ready to downsize your family home, you’ll need to mentally prepare for the emotions that will bubble up. You’ll be faced with boxes of memories, souvenirs, and heirlooms.  It’s not the stuff in the house that brings up all the emotions: it’s the stories attached to the stuff. Clearing out a home for a downsizing or after the death of a loved one is a rite of passage.
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In this post, I’ll be sharing the 4 tips for controlling your emotions before, during and after you downsize your home. As a bonus for my subscribers, I’m sharing this Downsizing Your Home Emotional Roadmap.

​Get mentally prepared: let’s talk about the emotional impact of downsizing your home.  Keep Reading. 

#1 You’re Going to Feel Guilty, but let it go
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First things first: just accept the fact that you are going to feel guilty about downsizing your home. It is totally normal to feel guilty about letting things go.  A lot of times, this is one of the biggest obstacles to overcome when downsizing. 

Whether you put the guilt on yourself or somebody else is guilt-tripping you, it still feels pretty rotten, right?

Some common guilt-isms:

• My Mom (or whoever) gave  this to me, so I have to keep it. 
• It was expensive, so I should get my money's worth.
• It doesn't fit anymore, but one day it might.

Remember, WHEN THE GUILT SETS IN IT IS OK TO LET IT GO.   Giving yourself permission to get rid of the guilt is liberating, y'all. 

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#2 You’re Going to Feel Wasteful: you are not. 
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Many of our parents were the children of Depression-era parents, so they grew up with the "I might need it someday" mindset. As a Professional Organizer, I see people save things "they might need" in literally 100% of the homes I work in.  (Note: I'm including myself in this category. For me it's gift bags.)

It was/is considered wasteful to throw things out for ANY reason.  Broken appliance? It can be fixed.  Leftover Cool Whip containers? Save them to store leftovers. Whole mess of gift bags after a birthday?  Save them and re-use. (See...I told you).

And let's not even get started on too small/slightly damaged clothes. Oy vey.

What I'm saying is IT ISN'T WASTEFUL TO LET SOMETHING GO IF YOU FIND A GOOD HOME FOR IT.   Let someone else benefit from the things you don't use or need. 

• Recycle and re-use things. But think about when it makes more sense to let it go.
• Save hand-me-down clothing for a friend or neighbor.  And then get it out of your house. Those size 4 jeans you'll never fit in again could make a difference in someone else's life. 
• Call a homeless shelter or a battered women's shelter or an animal shelter or a food bank and ask what they need.  Chances are you have things in your house right now that could be doing good for others.

Related articles:
Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with Your Aging Parents
With free Discussion Cheat Sheet
Assess the Mess: How to Plan Out Downsizing Your Home
With free Room-by-Room Checklist
 Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Still Young and Healthy)
With free Conversation Guide

#3 You’re Going to Feel Cold-Hearted, but remember you're still a good person
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​This is where your heart is going to get you in trouble.  People transfer their love for a person into an object they associate with that person. It's science, y'all.
                                                                                                                                                                      But think about it: you are letting go of a THING, not your love for the person who gave it to you.

Just because I donated the encyclopedia set that I got from my Grandmother to Goodwill, it does not mean I don't love my Grandma.  I kept one of the books and let the rest go. And I still think about my Grandma every day when I see that one encyclopedia volume on my office shelves. Win-win.

Same goes with emotional souvenirs from our youth.  You don't need to keep every t-shirt from every sports team and vacation and event you went to.  Those are THINGS.  You will still have the memories even if you don't have bins of yellow t-shirts in the attic. 

Helpful tip: if you struggle to let sentimental items go, keep one or two, then photograph the rest and put the pictures in an album. 

Remember, you want to separate the object from the person when you are downsizing your house. 

Lets work together on this

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#4 You’re Going to Feel Angry, which is super normal
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​At some point during the downsizing process, you're going to get mad. Like, ready-to-scream-mad. 

Mad at yourself. Why didn't I start downsizing sooner? Why did I waste my money on this? I'm such an awful person for being mad (#guilt).

Mad at your parents. Why did they leave all this for me to deal with? What in the Hell were they thinking?

Mad at your spouse, siblings and/or kids.  Why aren't they pulling their weight in helping me? Why am I doing all this? 

IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL TO FEEL ANGER.   Moving (including downsizing) is one of the most stressful things you can do.  It is normal and healthy to feel upset. Accept that anger is going to be a part of the process and make a plan in advance for how to handle it. 

Related article:
Clutter Puts the Rage in Garage: 6 Steps to DIY the Garage of Your Dreams.
With free Garage Organization Planner. 
4 Smart Ideas for Selling Your Stuff Offline...and 1 Really Dumb One

 #5 BUT EVENTUALLY, You’re Going to Feel So Much Lighter
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After all the guilt and the anger, you will eventually feel so much better. Even if you aren't planning on leaving this Earth anytime soon, downsizing your own home will remove an albatross from around your neck.  It's like the weight of the world being removed. 

Downsizing makes your feel happier because you know that you've lessened the burden on your family in the future. 

Downsizing your home makes you proud because you've helped others in your community by donating things you don't need or use. 

YOu are mentally prepared to downsize your home. 

You know that in addition to being a tough task physically, downsizing your home is emotionally taxing. You now have your head in the game and know what to expect when it comes to the feelings you'll have.  

To help you on your journey, I've created this Downsizing Your Home Emotional Roadmap just for you!  Feel free to download it now. 

What emotions have you experienced when moving or downsizing? Leave me a note in the comments section!

Related articles:
Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with Your Aging Parents
With free Discussion Cheat Sheet
Assess the Mess: How to Plan Out Downsizing Your Home
With free Room-by-Room Checklist
 Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Still Young and Healthy)
With free Conversation Guide

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