When you are ready to declutter your home and start selling some of your items online, you’ll want to do a little bit of research, have a flexible timeline, and have a basic amount of technical savvy.
Today we are sharing our top 5 tips for selling your stuff online, and as a bonus, we’ve created a free download of How to Sell Your Items Online Cheat Sheet. Are you Ready to Learn How to Sell Your Stuff Online? Read On.
Step One: Google “How to Sell xxx Online”
The first and easiest way to figure out how to sell your stuff online is to simply Google it.
You want to list your item on the site that has the biggest audience of potential buyers. For instance, if you were selling a set of golf clubs online, Ebay may be the best bet. But if you were selling custom hand-embroidered tea towels, Etsy is where you want to be. Selling antiques and collectibles often is easier on sites dedicated to those items. 
The Big Guys: Ebay and Amazon
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Download your free How to Sell Items Online Cheat Sheet here.
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4 smart ideas to sell your stuff offline...and 1 really dumb one (with free printable cheat sheet)
3/5/2018
Whatever you reasons are for selling offline, we are here to share our 4 smart ideas for selling your stuff offline...and one really dumb one.
There are several reasons why you may choose to sell you stuff offline instead of online.
Maybe you have a huge amount of items to sell and don't want to deal with managing 100's of online sales. Perhaps the items, like furniture and antiques, are difficult to pack and ship. Or maybe the seller isn't comfortable with the technology of selling online.
There are several reasons why you may choose to sell you stuff offline instead of online.
Maybe you have a huge amount of items to sell and don't want to deal with managing 100's of online sales. Perhaps the items, like furniture and antiques, are difficult to pack and ship. Or maybe the seller isn't comfortable with the technology of selling online.
READY TO LEARN THE 4 SMART IDEAS FOR SELLING YOUR STUFF OFFLINE? READ ON!
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We are also sharing our How To Sell Items Offline Cheat Sheet with you today. Just click here to download.
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1: Consider COnsignment Shops
Contacting local consignment shops about selling your items is a great option, but there are some drawbacks.
Consignment shops generally are interested in good-condition furniture, antiques, and home décor. Always call the shop before hauling your items there to see if they are accepting new product. Sending pictures ahead of time is highly recommended.
If you enter into a contract with the consignment shop, they will handle the set-up, pricing and (usually) the remnants. You will receive your payment from them anywhere from 90-120 days.
Some drawbacks you may want to consider:
Consignment shops generally are interested in good-condition furniture, antiques, and home décor. Always call the shop before hauling your items there to see if they are accepting new product. Sending pictures ahead of time is highly recommended.
If you enter into a contract with the consignment shop, they will handle the set-up, pricing and (usually) the remnants. You will receive your payment from them anywhere from 90-120 days.
Some drawbacks you may want to consider:
- You may have to haul the item to them.
- Most shops take a 40-50% commission on the item
- You may have to pick items up that don’t sell
2: Think about Yard or garage sales
If you have a lot of items (of varied quality) to sell, having a yard sale may be right for you. The biggest benefit of a yard sale is that you keep 100% of the profits.
There are a couple key points to having a successful yard sale:
On the downside, yard sales can be a tremendous amount of set-up and tear-down work. Be ready to haggle: negotiating is part of the yard-sale culture. Be sure you have an “exit strategy” to discard or donate items that don’t sell.
There are a couple key points to having a successful yard sale:
- Advertise, advertise, advertise. Get the word out!
- Make your sale easy to shop. Organize like items together and display things neatly. No one likes to dig through boxes.
On the downside, yard sales can be a tremendous amount of set-up and tear-down work. Be ready to haggle: negotiating is part of the yard-sale culture. Be sure you have an “exit strategy” to discard or donate items that don’t sell.
Related Articles:
Nobody Wants the Family Heirlooms: What to Do When It Happens to You
with free Declutter +Downsize Family Heirlooms Game Plan
5 Steps to Get Rid of Sentimental Clutter
including free printable game plan
Nobody Wants the Family Heirlooms: What to Do When It Happens to You
with free Declutter +Downsize Family Heirlooms Game Plan
5 Steps to Get Rid of Sentimental Clutter
including free printable game plan
3: HOw about an estate sale
If you have an entire house (and garage, attic and/or basement) of things to sell, running your own weekend-long estate sale is an option.
Just like yard sales, it is vitally important to advertise as much as possible. The more traffic you have at your sale, the better your chances of selling things are.
Items should be displayed in an easy-to-shop way and clearly priced. Be ready to help customers haul their purchases out of the house.
Estate sales generally follow a structured price-reduction schedule (e.g. full price Friday and Saturday afternoon, 25% off Saturday night, 50%-75% on Sunday.). Be sure your customers are aware of how your sale is running to avoid problems.
Just like yard sales, it is vitally important to advertise as much as possible. The more traffic you have at your sale, the better your chances of selling things are.
Items should be displayed in an easy-to-shop way and clearly priced. Be ready to help customers haul their purchases out of the house.
Estate sales generally follow a structured price-reduction schedule (e.g. full price Friday and Saturday afternoon, 25% off Saturday night, 50%-75% on Sunday.). Be sure your customers are aware of how your sale is running to avoid problems.
4: Try contacting Jeweler or certified appraiser
Don’t assume jewelry, fine collectibles and gold/silver are fakes or junk! You could literally be throwing money in the garbage.
Research reputable jewelers or certified personal property appraisers in your area and have them review the items. They may be able to connect you with buyers for valuable items.
Any fee you pay to an appraiser is worth saving you the heartache of accidentally throwing away a treasure.
Research reputable jewelers or certified personal property appraisers in your area and have them review the items. They may be able to connect you with buyers for valuable items.
Any fee you pay to an appraiser is worth saving you the heartache of accidentally throwing away a treasure.
Related Articles:
Assess the Mess: How to Plan out Downsizing a Home
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Clutter Puts the Rage in Garage: 6 DIY Steps to Organize Your Garage
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Assess the Mess: How to Plan out Downsizing a Home
includes free printable checklist
Clutter Puts the Rage in Garage: 6 DIY Steps to Organize Your Garage
with Dream Garage Planner
The dumb idea? pawning your valuables
The one advantage of selling your valuables to a pawn shop is that you get cash quickly. However, you pay for that desperation.
Chances are that an item you sell to a pawn shop will only get you 25% of the item’s value. You are far better off selling your items anywhere else. Don’t let reality TV shows give you the idea that you’ll make a great profit at a pawn shop.
Remember, if you sell your item to a pawn shop, they have the right to sell your item.
Chances are that an item you sell to a pawn shop will only get you 25% of the item’s value. You are far better off selling your items anywhere else. Don’t let reality TV shows give you the idea that you’ll make a great profit at a pawn shop.
Remember, if you sell your item to a pawn shop, they have the right to sell your item.
You are ready to sell your stuff offline!
Selling your stuff offline can be a great idea if you have a large number of things to sell in a relatively short time frame.
Consigning, yard sales, and estate sales are a fair amount of work for you, but you’ll see cash in-hand fairly quickly.
Be sure to have a reputable jeweler or certified appraiser review items before throwing them out.
Consigning, yard sales, and estate sales are a fair amount of work for you, but you’ll see cash in-hand fairly quickly.
Be sure to have a reputable jeweler or certified appraiser review items before throwing them out.
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To help you get started selling your stuff offline, we are sharing this handy cheat sheet. Enjoy, and Happy Selling!
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Related Articles:
Nobody Want the Family Heirlooms: What to Do When it Happens to You
with Declutter +Downsize Game Plan
Post-Organizing: Detox + Declutter Your Home After the Holidays
Nobody Want the Family Heirlooms: What to Do When it Happens to You
with Declutter +Downsize Game Plan
Post-Organizing: Detox + Declutter Your Home After the Holidays
As Americans continue to live in larger and larger homes, we find ourselves able to store a huge amount of sentimental clutter...and we do not get rid of it. Ever.
As an Estate Clearing Professional and Professional Organizer, I see entire rooms, closets, attics, garages, and even cars overflowing with things people can't get rid of for sentimental reasons. People are using their homes as storage facilities instead of places to actively live their lives.
In this post I'll be sharing some of my professional tips to help you get rid of some (but not all) of your sentimental clutter.
As an Estate Clearing Professional and Professional Organizer, I see entire rooms, closets, attics, garages, and even cars overflowing with things people can't get rid of for sentimental reasons. People are using their homes as storage facilities instead of places to actively live their lives.
In this post I'll be sharing some of my professional tips to help you get rid of some (but not all) of your sentimental clutter.
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To help get you ready to declutter and downsize your sentimental items, I've created this free download. Enjoy!
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Ready to get rid of some of your sentimental clutter? Keep Reading…
#1 Mentally Prepare
The first step in getting rid of your sentimental clutter is to mentally prepare yourself.
Take some time to think about why you are holding on to so many sentimental items. Is it because you truly treasure the item? Or does the item remind you of a person?
Remember, a thing is just a thing, not a person. Don't let your love for a Grandfather morph into love of a thing that reminds you of that him.
Ask yourself some questions as you go through items
If you decide to let the item go, that is your choice: you do not need to announce it to your family. Just let it go.
Take some time to think about why you are holding on to so many sentimental items. Is it because you truly treasure the item? Or does the item remind you of a person?
Remember, a thing is just a thing, not a person. Don't let your love for a Grandfather morph into love of a thing that reminds you of that him.
Ask yourself some questions as you go through items
- Does it make me feel happy? Keeping mementos of sad times or events doesn't make your life better. Let it go.
- Does my family expect me to keep this? Family expectations can be difficult to manage. Have you become the Keeper of all Historical Photos Since the Beginning of Time, but no one can identify any of the people in those pictures? Let them go.
- Is keeping it a joy or a burden? Are you excited that you have this item? Or is it more like “I guess I should keep this”? Let it go.
If you decide to let the item go, that is your choice: you do not need to announce it to your family. Just let it go.
Related articles:
Nobody Wants the Family Heirlooms: What to Do When It Happens to You
with free Declutter +Downsize Family Heirlooms Game Plan
Sometimes You Can’t Do it on Your Own: When it’s Time to Throw in the Towel and Hire an Estate Clearing Professional to Help you Finish the Job.
Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Young + Healthy)
with free printable: Two Easy-ish Conversations to Have with Your Aging Parents
Mentally Prepare for Downsizing Your Home: 4 Tips to Control Your Emotions
with free Downsizing Your Home Emotional Roadmap
Nobody Wants the Family Heirlooms: What to Do When It Happens to You
with free Declutter +Downsize Family Heirlooms Game Plan
Sometimes You Can’t Do it on Your Own: When it’s Time to Throw in the Towel and Hire an Estate Clearing Professional to Help you Finish the Job.
Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Young + Healthy)
with free printable: Two Easy-ish Conversations to Have with Your Aging Parents
Mentally Prepare for Downsizing Your Home: 4 Tips to Control Your Emotions
with free Downsizing Your Home Emotional Roadmap
#2 Start Small: Get a success or 2 under your belt
Kick off your efforts with small projects like greeting cards or souvenir plastic cups. Do you really need to keep a card with a hastily scrawled signature? How many plastic souvenir cups do you actually use? Getting a taste of success, no matter how small, inspires you to keep getting successes.
Taken care of all the easy little things? Then move on to a little bigger (but not huge) project. Try clearing out your t-shirt drawers of all the shirts you don’t really wear, you just keep because of the sentimental memories.
How about all your old college textbooks, student directories, and papers? You may want to keep the directory, just to see the old photos, but you should be able to feel confident about donating or recycling all the books and papers. I guarantee you are not going to need your essay on post-modern theory in 19th century American literature ever again.
Remember, you don’t need to get rid of ALL your sentimental items. Just weed out the clutter so you have room for the things that truly mean something to you.
Taken care of all the easy little things? Then move on to a little bigger (but not huge) project. Try clearing out your t-shirt drawers of all the shirts you don’t really wear, you just keep because of the sentimental memories.
How about all your old college textbooks, student directories, and papers? You may want to keep the directory, just to see the old photos, but you should be able to feel confident about donating or recycling all the books and papers. I guarantee you are not going to need your essay on post-modern theory in 19th century American literature ever again.
Remember, you don’t need to get rid of ALL your sentimental items. Just weed out the clutter so you have room for the things that truly mean something to you.
#3 Keep the Best, Lose the Rest
Be choosy about what you let take up space in your home. You do not have to keep every single item in a collection. Keep the best 1-2 items, and let the rest go.
Having a tough time letting the collection go? Photograph the items!
What if you DO have enough room in your house to store all your sentimental clutter? There is still space in the attic! You can shove one more box underneath the stairs? Skip right on to Step #5!
Having a tough time letting the collection go? Photograph the items!
What if you DO have enough room in your house to store all your sentimental clutter? There is still space in the attic! You can shove one more box underneath the stairs? Skip right on to Step #5!
#4 Intentionally Use It One Last time
If you’re struggling with getting rid of a sentimental item, consider giving it a “soft goodbye”.
Let’s say you’ve weeded out 20 old sports or concert t-shirts that you don’t need anymore, but can’t bear to discard or donate. Using the “soft goodbye”, allow yourself to wear it one last time and then instead of washing it, put it into the Goodwill bag. This lets you ease out of owning it without a blunt end.
Let’s say you’ve weeded out 20 old sports or concert t-shirts that you don’t need anymore, but can’t bear to discard or donate. Using the “soft goodbye”, allow yourself to wear it one last time and then instead of washing it, put it into the Goodwill bag. This lets you ease out of owning it without a blunt end.
Related Articles:
Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with your Aging Parents
with free Discussion Cheat Sheet
Assess the Mess: How to Plan Out Downsizing a Home
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4 Smart Ideas for Selling Your Stuff Offline...and 1 Really Dumb One
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Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with your Aging Parents
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Assess the Mess: How to Plan Out Downsizing a Home
includes free Room-by-Room Checklist
4 Smart Ideas for Selling Your Stuff Offline...and 1 Really Dumb One
with free cheat sheet
#5 Display, Use or Honor what you keep
Think about it: are you treating your sentimental items like you care about them? Or are they boxed up and shoved in the attic, basement, or back of the guest room closet, creating clutter?? If you care about something enough to keep it, shouldn’t you give it the respect it deserves?
Have tons of photos? Scan them in and set them as a slideshow on your computer. How fun is it to randomly see your 8th grade graduation photo? Put them in a pretty bowl on your coffee table for guests and family to look through and change the pictures out every couple of months.
Honor items that truly have a place in your heart by displaying them in your home. Have a ceramic bowl you made in art class in 3rd grade? Pull it out of storage and use it as a change bowl. Keeping you child's baby blanket they came home from the hospital in? Cut it into dish towels so you can use and enjoy seeing it everyday!
Have tons of photos? Scan them in and set them as a slideshow on your computer. How fun is it to randomly see your 8th grade graduation photo? Put them in a pretty bowl on your coffee table for guests and family to look through and change the pictures out every couple of months.
Honor items that truly have a place in your heart by displaying them in your home. Have a ceramic bowl you made in art class in 3rd grade? Pull it out of storage and use it as a change bowl. Keeping you child's baby blanket they came home from the hospital in? Cut it into dish towels so you can use and enjoy seeing it everyday!
YOu are ready to get rid of (some, but not all) of your sentimental clutter.
The keys to successfully getting rid of your sentimental clutter are mentally preparing, breaking the project down into small steps, and giving yourself permission to let things go. Think about the things you allow to take up space in your home and display or honor things that truly mean something to you.
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To get you started on your decluttering journey, we're sharing this Declutter + Downsize Sentimental Items Game Plan. Enjoy...and Good Luck!
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Related Articles
Nobody Wants the Family Heirlooms: What to Do When It Happens to You
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Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Young + Healthy)
with free printable: Two Easy-ish Conversations to Have with Your Aging Parents
Mentally Prepare for Downsizing Your Home: 4 Tips to Control Your Emotions
with free Downsizing Your Home Emotional Roadmap
Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with your Aging Parents
with free Discussion Cheat Sheet
Assess the Mess: How to Plan Out Downsizing a Home
includes free Room-by-Room Checklist
with free Declutter +Downsize Family Heirlooms Game Plan
Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Young + Healthy)
with free printable: Two Easy-ish Conversations to Have with Your Aging Parents
Mentally Prepare for Downsizing Your Home: 4 Tips to Control Your Emotions
with free Downsizing Your Home Emotional Roadmap
Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with your Aging Parents
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Assess the Mess: How to Plan Out Downsizing a Home
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When nobody wants the family heirlooms anymore, what can you do?
As more and more of the US population ages, downsizes, and passes away there is a tremendous amount of STUFF flooding the market. Younger generations are faced with inheriting a sizable amount of family heirlooms, but their homes are already full. It seems nobody wants the family heirlooms anymore. So what can you do when it happens to you?
In this article, we'll discuss some options for what to do with the family heirlooms when nobody wants them. As a bonus for readers, we are sharing this free printable Declutter + Downsize Family Heirlooms Game Plan.
As more and more of the US population ages, downsizes, and passes away there is a tremendous amount of STUFF flooding the market. Younger generations are faced with inheriting a sizable amount of family heirlooms, but their homes are already full. It seems nobody wants the family heirlooms anymore. So what can you do when it happens to you?
In this article, we'll discuss some options for what to do with the family heirlooms when nobody wants them. As a bonus for readers, we are sharing this free printable Declutter + Downsize Family Heirlooms Game Plan.
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Click here to download the Declutter + Downsize Family Heirlooms Game Plan.
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Want to learn what to do when nobody wants the family heirlooms? Keep Reading.
#1 Manage Family Expectations
Perhaps the toughest thing to deal with is managing expectations about family heirlooms. Items that have been in the family for decades are automatically passed down to the next generation...whether they like it or not.
Obviously, there are many family heirlooms that are truly treasured and gratefully accepted. However, there are also heirlooms that younger generations accept out of a sense of duty, guilt, or without even being asked if they want.
Burden vs. Joy
If you're soon-to-be-inheriting, carefully consider what you honestly want to accept. Accepting a family heirloom should be a joy, not a burden to carry. If you do not have the space for the item, respectfully decline to take it. If the item causes you emotional or financial distress, don't take it. Think of it this way: would your grandmother want you to have to pay for a storage unit so you can keep her dining room table?
The Guilt
Often times, it is guilt that forces us to take things we really don't want. Human beings have the tendency to merge their emotions for a person into the THINGS that person owned. But remember: it is just a THING, not a person. Your love for your great aunt isn't lessened because you don't want her silver tea set. You still love her...you just don't love tea sets.
Things Nobody Ever Wants
There are things that get held onto and passed down that nobody ever wants. Letters written in anger, racist antiques, and ashes of the deceased top the list. If an heirloom makes you feel sad, ashamed, or unjustly burdened, give yourself permission to get rid of it. The things that live in your house should make you feel happy.
Tacky and outdated collections are another thing nobody ever wants. Consider selling or donating items you know you will never even take out of the box.
Obviously, there are many family heirlooms that are truly treasured and gratefully accepted. However, there are also heirlooms that younger generations accept out of a sense of duty, guilt, or without even being asked if they want.
Burden vs. Joy
If you're soon-to-be-inheriting, carefully consider what you honestly want to accept. Accepting a family heirloom should be a joy, not a burden to carry. If you do not have the space for the item, respectfully decline to take it. If the item causes you emotional or financial distress, don't take it. Think of it this way: would your grandmother want you to have to pay for a storage unit so you can keep her dining room table?
The Guilt
Often times, it is guilt that forces us to take things we really don't want. Human beings have the tendency to merge their emotions for a person into the THINGS that person owned. But remember: it is just a THING, not a person. Your love for your great aunt isn't lessened because you don't want her silver tea set. You still love her...you just don't love tea sets.
Things Nobody Ever Wants
There are things that get held onto and passed down that nobody ever wants. Letters written in anger, racist antiques, and ashes of the deceased top the list. If an heirloom makes you feel sad, ashamed, or unjustly burdened, give yourself permission to get rid of it. The things that live in your house should make you feel happy.
Tacky and outdated collections are another thing nobody ever wants. Consider selling or donating items you know you will never even take out of the box.
Related articles:
Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Young + Healthy)
Mentally Prepare for Downsizing Your Home: 4 Tips to Control Your Emotions
Declutter, Donate, and Deduct
Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Young + Healthy)
Mentally Prepare for Downsizing Your Home: 4 Tips to Control Your Emotions
Declutter, Donate, and Deduct
#2 Intentionally Use It One Last Time
If you have family heirlooms in your home, consider different options for using them. For instance, if you inherited gold rimmed wine glasses, think about using them for your everyday glasses. Sure, the gold will wear off, but if nobody wants to take the glasses in the future, isn't it better to get some use out of them?
Another idea is to frame the heirloom and display it in your house. Baptismal gowns, old letters and recipes, photographs, and military awards all lend themselves to display in shadowboxes. Have items professionally framed to preserve them.
Perhaps one of the best ideas I've come across is giving the item a "Victory Lap". Let's say you've inherited the family wedding china...which has been packed away and sitting in your attic since you got it. Using the Victory Lap concept, you would make an event out of using it one last time.
Unpack the china and set your table with it. Invite as many family members as you can for dinner to use the china, even if it's just takeout pizza. During dinner, reminisce about the family member that owned the china and take lots of photographs. Offer each family member a place setting to take home. Pack up and donate the remaining pieces to charity. Be sure to share the photos with your family.
Another idea is to frame the heirloom and display it in your house. Baptismal gowns, old letters and recipes, photographs, and military awards all lend themselves to display in shadowboxes. Have items professionally framed to preserve them.
Perhaps one of the best ideas I've come across is giving the item a "Victory Lap". Let's say you've inherited the family wedding china...which has been packed away and sitting in your attic since you got it. Using the Victory Lap concept, you would make an event out of using it one last time.
Unpack the china and set your table with it. Invite as many family members as you can for dinner to use the china, even if it's just takeout pizza. During dinner, reminisce about the family member that owned the china and take lots of photographs. Offer each family member a place setting to take home. Pack up and donate the remaining pieces to charity. Be sure to share the photos with your family.
#3 Cut Down Collection Size
If you've inherited a large collection that you do not want or have the space for, think about cutting it down. For instance, if you've come into a large collection of Depression glass, choose 1 or 2 meaningful pieces and sell or donate the rest.
If it is a collection you'll never use or display, give yourself permission to let it go. You may feel guilty for selling or donating am family heirloom collection that a grandparent spent years building, but remember: theses are just THINGS, not a person. You still love your grandparent even if you donated their Depression glass collection.
If it is a collection you'll never use or display, give yourself permission to let it go. You may feel guilty for selling or donating am family heirloom collection that a grandparent spent years building, but remember: theses are just THINGS, not a person. You still love your grandparent even if you donated their Depression glass collection.
#4 Donate to a Worthy Cause
Consider the historical significance of family heirlooms or collections and donate items where they will be treasured. For example, wartime memorabilia may be appreciated by the local VFW post. Old sports trophies and yearbooks may be of interest to the local high school. Research local historical societies, museums, universities, and service organizations. Things that nobody in your family wants may be welcomed elsewhere.
#5 Sell Valuables
When selling antiques and family heirlooms, it is important to do your research. Sometimes a simple online search will give you a rough idea whether an items holds any financial value or not.
The best advice is to consult with a reputable certified appraiser. Having a professional appraiser look at your items is worth the reasonable fee they charge. Professionals can keep you from throwing away things your thought were fakes (such as jewelry) and give you an idea of what an item may be worth.
If selling items yourself, use extreme caution. Be sure to only accept cash from buyers, meet at a safe public location, and have another person with you. You can never be too careful.
The best advice is to consult with a reputable certified appraiser. Having a professional appraiser look at your items is worth the reasonable fee they charge. Professionals can keep you from throwing away things your thought were fakes (such as jewelry) and give you an idea of what an item may be worth.
If selling items yourself, use extreme caution. Be sure to only accept cash from buyers, meet at a safe public location, and have another person with you. You can never be too careful.
Related Articles:
- Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with your Aging Parents
- Assess the Mess: How to Plan out Downsizing a Home
- 4 Smart Ideas for Selling Your Stuff Offline...and 1 Really Dumb One
- Sometimes You Can’t Do it on Your Own: When it’s Time to Throw in the Towel and Hire an Estate Clearing Professional to Help you Finish the Job.
Now you have a game plan
When nobody wants the family heirlooms, it can be difficult to figure out what to do. You have several options, from saying "no" to taking the items to selling the items. Weigh your options carefully and make the decision that works best for you, your family, and your circumstance.
Grab a free game plan here!
Downsizing your home can be a tough emotional road.
When you decide that you’re ready to downsize your family home, you’ll need to mentally prepare for the emotions that will bubble up. You’ll be faced with boxes of memories, souvenirs, and heirlooms. It’s not the stuff in the house that brings up all the emotions: it’s the stories attached to the stuff. Clearing out a home for a downsizing or after the death of a loved one is a rite of passage.
In this post, I’ll be sharing the 4 tips for controlling your emotions before, during and after you downsize your home. As a bonus for my subscribers, I’m sharing this Downsizing Your Home Emotional Roadmap.
In this post, I’ll be sharing the 4 tips for controlling your emotions before, during and after you downsize your home. As a bonus for my subscribers, I’m sharing this Downsizing Your Home Emotional Roadmap.
Get mentally prepared: let’s talk about the emotional impact of downsizing your home. Keep Reading.
#1 You’re Going to Feel Guilty, but let it go
First things first: just accept the fact that you are going to feel guilty about downsizing your home. It is totally normal to feel guilty about letting things go. A lot of times, this is one of the biggest obstacles to overcome when downsizing.
Whether you put the guilt on yourself or somebody else is guilt-tripping you, it still feels pretty rotten, right?
Some common guilt-isms:
Remember, WHEN THE GUILT SETS IN IT IS OK TO LET IT GO. Giving yourself permission to get rid of the guilt is liberating, y'all.
Whether you put the guilt on yourself or somebody else is guilt-tripping you, it still feels pretty rotten, right?
Some common guilt-isms:
- My Mom (or whoever) gave this to me, so I have to keep it.
- It was expensive, so I should get my money's worth.
- It doesn't fit anymore, but one day it might.
Remember, WHEN THE GUILT SETS IN IT IS OK TO LET IT GO. Giving yourself permission to get rid of the guilt is liberating, y'all.
#2 You’re Going to Feel Wasteful: you are not.
Many of our parents were the children of Depression-era parents, so they grew up with the "I might need it someday" mindset. As a Professional Organizer, I see people save things "they might need" in literally 100% of the homes I work in. (Note: I'm including myself in this category. For me it's gift bags.)
It was/is considered wasteful to throw things out for ANY reason. Broken appliance? It can be fixed. Leftover Cool Whip containers? Save them to store leftovers. Whole mess of gift bags after a birthday? Save them and re-use. (See...I told you).
And let's not even get started on too small/slightly damaged clothes. Oy vey.
What I'm saying is IT ISN'T WASTEFUL TO LET SOMETHING GO IF YOU FIND A GOOD HOME FOR IT. Let someone else benefit from the things you don't use or need.
It was/is considered wasteful to throw things out for ANY reason. Broken appliance? It can be fixed. Leftover Cool Whip containers? Save them to store leftovers. Whole mess of gift bags after a birthday? Save them and re-use. (See...I told you).
And let's not even get started on too small/slightly damaged clothes. Oy vey.
What I'm saying is IT ISN'T WASTEFUL TO LET SOMETHING GO IF YOU FIND A GOOD HOME FOR IT. Let someone else benefit from the things you don't use or need.
- Recycle and re-use things. But think about when it makes more sense to let it go.
- Save hand-me-down clothing for a friend or neighbor. And then get it out of your house. Those size 4 jeans you'll never fit in again could make a difference in someone else's life.
- Call a homeless shelter or a battered women's shelter or an animal shelter or a food bank and ask what they need. Chances are you have things in your house right now that could be doing good for others.
Related articles:
Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with Your Aging Parents
With free Discussion Cheat Sheet
Assess the Mess: How to Plan Out Downsizing Your Home
With free Room-by-Room Checklist
Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Still Young and Healthy)
With free Conversation Guide
Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with Your Aging Parents
With free Discussion Cheat Sheet
Assess the Mess: How to Plan Out Downsizing Your Home
With free Room-by-Room Checklist
Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Still Young and Healthy)
With free Conversation Guide
#3 You’re Going to Feel Cold-Hearted, but remember you're still a good person
This is where your heart is going to get you in trouble. People transfer their love for a person into an object they associate with that person. It's science, y'all.
But think about it: you are letting go of a THING, not your love for the person who gave it to you.
Just because I donated the encyclopedia set that I got from my Grandmother to Goodwill, it does not mean I don't love my Grandma. I kept one of the books and let the rest go. And I still think about my Grandma every day when I see that one encyclopedia volume on my office shelves. Win-win.
Same goes with emotional souvenirs from our youth. You don't need to keep every t-shirt from every sports team and vacation and event you went to. Those are THINGS. You will still have the memories even if you don't have bins of yellow t-shirts in the attic.
Helpful tip: if you struggle to let sentimental items go, keep one or two, then photograph the rest and put the pictures in an album.
Remember, you want to separate the object from the person when you are downsizing your house.
But think about it: you are letting go of a THING, not your love for the person who gave it to you.
Just because I donated the encyclopedia set that I got from my Grandmother to Goodwill, it does not mean I don't love my Grandma. I kept one of the books and let the rest go. And I still think about my Grandma every day when I see that one encyclopedia volume on my office shelves. Win-win.
Same goes with emotional souvenirs from our youth. You don't need to keep every t-shirt from every sports team and vacation and event you went to. Those are THINGS. You will still have the memories even if you don't have bins of yellow t-shirts in the attic.
Helpful tip: if you struggle to let sentimental items go, keep one or two, then photograph the rest and put the pictures in an album.
Remember, you want to separate the object from the person when you are downsizing your house.
#4 You’re Going to Feel Angry, which is super normal
At some point during the downsizing process, you're going to get mad. Like, ready-to-scream-mad.
Mad at yourself. Why didn't I start downsizing sooner? Why did I waste my money on this? I'm such an awful person for being mad (#guilt).
Mad at your parents. Why did they leave all this for me to deal with? What in the Hell were they thinking?
Mad at your spouse, siblings and/or kids. Why aren't they pulling their weight in helping me? Why am I doing all this?
IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL TO FEEL ANGER. Moving (including downsizing) is one of the most stressful things you can do. It is normal and healthy to feel upset. Accept that anger is going to be a part of the process and make a plan in advance for how to handle it.
Mad at yourself. Why didn't I start downsizing sooner? Why did I waste my money on this? I'm such an awful person for being mad (#guilt).
Mad at your parents. Why did they leave all this for me to deal with? What in the Hell were they thinking?
Mad at your spouse, siblings and/or kids. Why aren't they pulling their weight in helping me? Why am I doing all this?
IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL TO FEEL ANGER. Moving (including downsizing) is one of the most stressful things you can do. It is normal and healthy to feel upset. Accept that anger is going to be a part of the process and make a plan in advance for how to handle it.
Related article:
Clutter Puts the Rage in Garage: 6 Steps to DIY the Garage of Your Dreams.
With free Garage Organization Planner.
4 Smart Ideas for Selling Your Stuff Offline...and 1 Really Dumb One
Clutter Puts the Rage in Garage: 6 Steps to DIY the Garage of Your Dreams.
With free Garage Organization Planner.
4 Smart Ideas for Selling Your Stuff Offline...and 1 Really Dumb One
#5 BUT EVENTUALLY, You’re Going to Feel So Much Lighter
After all the guilt and the anger, you will eventually feel so much better. Even if you aren't planning on leaving this Earth anytime soon, downsizing your own home will remove an albatross from around your neck. It's like the weight of the world being removed.
Downsizing makes your feel happier because you know that you've lessened the burden on your family in the future.
Downsizing your home makes you proud because you've helped others in your community by donating things you don't need or use.
Downsizing makes your feel happier because you know that you've lessened the burden on your family in the future.
Downsizing your home makes you proud because you've helped others in your community by donating things you don't need or use.
YOu are mentally prepared to downsize your home.
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You know that in addition to being a tough task physically, downsizing your home is emotionally taxing. You now have your head in the game and know what to expect when it comes to the feelings you'll have.
To help you on your journey, I've created this Downsizing Your Home Emotional Roadmap just for you! Feel free to download it now. What emotions have you experienced when moving or downsizing? Leave me a note in the comments section! |
Related articles:
Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with Your Aging Parents
With free Discussion Cheat Sheet
Assess the Mess: How to Plan Out Downsizing Your Home
With free Room-by-Room Checklist
Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Still Young and Healthy)
With free Conversation Guide
Mom, We Have to Talk: 5 Ways to Discuss Downsizing with Your Aging Parents
With free Discussion Cheat Sheet
Assess the Mess: How to Plan Out Downsizing Your Home
With free Room-by-Room Checklist
Help Organize Your Aging Parents (While They are Still Young and Healthy)
With free Conversation Guide
HOw do you downsize A HOUSE FULL OF STUFF?
At some point, every family in America will be faced with the task of helping their aging parents downsize a home that has probably been lived in for decades. Whether the downsize is to move to a smaller home or an assisted living facility, it can be a tremendously overwhelming process. Where things get tricky, of course, is figuring out what to do with a lifetime of possessions. A home is museum of your family’s life, so it can be emotionally difficult to let things go.
In this post, I’ll share the 5 keys to success for a downsizing project. As a bonus, I’ve created this FREE Discussion Cheat Sheet. Click to download.
In this post, I’ll share the 5 keys to success for a downsizing project. As a bonus, I’ve created this FREE Discussion Cheat Sheet. Click to download.
Ready to Start the Discussion about Downsizing a Lifetime of Stuff? Keep Reading
#1 Take it One Room at a Time
Don’t try to downsize the whole house at once: just take it one room at a time. For the first room, choose a room that has the least amount of items in it. That way when you’ve completed that room you have a small success under your belt and it will motivate you to keep going.
Be aware and respect the fact that there is emotional weight attached to many of the items in every house. You will probably hear “that belonged to my mother/grandparent” more times than you can count. Be patient and take breaks if you start to feel frustrated.
It will take some strict self-enforcement, but as you review items, stick to Yes or No, but never Maybe. If you allow Maybes, it becomes the “dumping ground” for things that you will have to review again. Anything that is a Yes should have a specific place, purpose, or plan for the new home. A No should be separated out into Donate or Discard.
Related articles:
Assess the Mess: How to Plan out Downsizing a Home.
with free printable Room-by-Room checklist
Mentally Prepare for Downsizing Your Home: 4 Tips to Control Your Emotions
with free printable Emotional Roadmap
5 Secrets for Solving Family Inheritance Disputes
#2 Choose your treasures instead of lamenting your losses
The thought of getting rid of 75% of your possessions can be distressing, at the very least and traumatic at the worst. I have 2 ways to frame the job that I suggest trying:
To read more about Organizing Your Aging Parents, click here.
- “Let’s choose the items you want to treasure” instead of “What can we get rid of?”. Just the simple mind-shift can ease the emotional impact. Make this your mantra.
- “Donating these items to Habitat for Humanity (or whatever charity is close to your parents’ heart) will be such a blessing to someone.” Knowing that the things in your home will benefit someone else can make it easier to let go.
To read more about Organizing Your Aging Parents, click here.
#3 Make a Plan for Collections
Have a strategy for dealing with collections, because there simply will not be room to take everything to the new home. Whether it is a collection of salt and pepper shakers or antique tools, try these three tips.
- “Choose your one favorite piece to treasure”. It is important to give your aging parent some control in what they want to take with them. Moving to a new home is very stressful and can make your parents feel that they aren’t in control of their own lives anymore.
- “Let’s pack this one items to take with you, and we’ll create a photo album of the other items”. Photographing treasured pieces of a collection, printing them out and creating an album is a good way to preserve the memories.
- “Let’s start gifting these legacy items now”. For example, if a family member is going to be the eventual recipient of the antique tool collection, give it to them now. If your parent knows that their wishes are being carried out, it helps with the anxiety.
#4 Make a plan for Selling or Donating
Be realistic about how you’re going to get rid of 75% of a home’s possessions. It is a significant amount of work to coordinate all the logistics. Your main options are to sell or to donate.
Selling items
Most families have the desire to sell some of the possessions, but aren’t sure where to start. You can try services like EBTH or estate sale companies. Always check with the Better Business Bureau and check references of any service you retain to sell your items. Some families choose to consign household items: be advised that there is quite a process involved. Another route is to list things on Craigslist, eBay, Facebook, etc., but be aware that the sheer number of items you’ll have to manage is overwhelming. The technology and selling items one-by-one is tedious and can be a barrier.
Related article: Help Organize Your Aging Parents While They Are Still Young + Healthy, includes Free Printable Checklist
Donations
Do a google search for local charities in your area to find out where you can donate items. You can find good homes for nearly all of the things in an average home. For example, local pet shelters and animal hospitals always accept sheets, towels, linens and laundry detergent. Local schools are happy to accept office supplies and food banks accept unopened food, food wrap, etc.
If your parents have collections that may have interest to a museum or school, consider donating the entire collection. For instance, a large collection of military memorabilia may find a new home in a local museum, military school, or veterans center.
Find charities that will pick-up donations at the home. Each group usually has their own guidelines about what they will and won’t accept, so take a minute to research them. Discuss with your parents whether they want to be there as items are being carried away or not.
Selling items
Most families have the desire to sell some of the possessions, but aren’t sure where to start. You can try services like EBTH or estate sale companies. Always check with the Better Business Bureau and check references of any service you retain to sell your items. Some families choose to consign household items: be advised that there is quite a process involved. Another route is to list things on Craigslist, eBay, Facebook, etc., but be aware that the sheer number of items you’ll have to manage is overwhelming. The technology and selling items one-by-one is tedious and can be a barrier.
Related article: Help Organize Your Aging Parents While They Are Still Young + Healthy, includes Free Printable Checklist
Donations
Do a google search for local charities in your area to find out where you can donate items. You can find good homes for nearly all of the things in an average home. For example, local pet shelters and animal hospitals always accept sheets, towels, linens and laundry detergent. Local schools are happy to accept office supplies and food banks accept unopened food, food wrap, etc.
If your parents have collections that may have interest to a museum or school, consider donating the entire collection. For instance, a large collection of military memorabilia may find a new home in a local museum, military school, or veterans center.
Find charities that will pick-up donations at the home. Each group usually has their own guidelines about what they will and won’t accept, so take a minute to research them. Discuss with your parents whether they want to be there as items are being carried away or not.
5 Consider hiring a Professional Organizer or other estate professionals.
Having a neutral party help with the process can ease the amount of family tension. There are often family dynamics that make the downsizing process complex, so bring in a professional to help navigate. Do a Google search for local Professional Organizers and be sure to check references. When hiring a professional, be sure you are clear about your timeline, any concerns you have, and most of all, be honest.
YOu're ready to get started downsizing.
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Downsizing a lifetime of stuff can be an overwhelming and emotional task. Start early, be patient, and respect the emotional distress downsizing can have on your parents.
To help get you started, I’ve created this free Discussion Cheat sheet. Download and put it to good use! |
its the most wonderful time of the year!
Busy families, rejoice: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year is almost here! No: not Christmas…Back To School! Organizing your home and family for Back to School is virtually the same as organizing for the Holidays. In this post, I’ll talk about the 4 ways organizing for Back to School is just like Holiday organizing, share tips and tricks I’ve learned as a Professional Organizer to get through it, and best of all, share a FREE PRINTABLE CHECKLIST with you!
ready to learn back to school organization tips? Read on....
Let's get this thing going.
Moms + Dads across the nation are anxiously awaiting the glorious First Day of School, while at the same time dreading all the work it takes to get ready for it. It’s exciting, expensive, and exhausting. You know…exactly the Holidays. There are so many similarities between the two, right?!
Organizing for both Back to School and the Holidays mean getting your game face on for
*The Logistical Challenges: Pull out your planner and get ready to schedule a million appointments and carpools.
* The Buying of the Things Never Ends: Just plan on selling a kidney in early August to cover your expenses. You’ll spend a whole month purchasing clothes, school supplies, backpacks, and post-it notes. The bleeding won’t stop until mid-September, if you’re lucky.
* All the Time with the Eating: Forget about Summer when you could pull off pop-tarts for breakfast, pool concession-stand nachos for lunch, and Chick-Fila for Dinner. You’re going to need to sling out at least 3 meals a day.
*The Soon-to-be Disaster Zone of a Home: Instead of a house strewn with wet swimming towels and Cheez-It boxes, instead you’ll have backpacks, soccer shin-guards, and decimated lunchboxes to deal with.
Let’s take a look at how you can break it down and survive.
Check out our Back to School Organizing board on Pinterest.
*The Logistical Challenges: Pull out your planner and get ready to schedule a million appointments and carpools.
* The Buying of the Things Never Ends: Just plan on selling a kidney in early August to cover your expenses. You’ll spend a whole month purchasing clothes, school supplies, backpacks, and post-it notes. The bleeding won’t stop until mid-September, if you’re lucky.
* All the Time with the Eating: Forget about Summer when you could pull off pop-tarts for breakfast, pool concession-stand nachos for lunch, and Chick-Fila for Dinner. You’re going to need to sling out at least 3 meals a day.
*The Soon-to-be Disaster Zone of a Home: Instead of a house strewn with wet swimming towels and Cheez-It boxes, instead you’ll have backpacks, soccer shin-guards, and decimated lunchboxes to deal with.
Let’s take a look at how you can break it down and survive.
Check out our Back to School Organizing board on Pinterest.
get your logistics on, yo.
Two words of advice: Start. Now.
You should set up doctor and dentist appointments, get prescriptions and medical authorization forms filled out, set up haircuts, sign the kids up for Fall sports and/or after school activities.
When you’ve got all of that done, start creeping on other parents you can potentially carpool with. Befriend them, asap. Keep telling yourself it isn't stalking if it's for the kids.
You should set up doctor and dentist appointments, get prescriptions and medical authorization forms filled out, set up haircuts, sign the kids up for Fall sports and/or after school activities.
When you’ve got all of that done, start creeping on other parents you can potentially carpool with. Befriend them, asap. Keep telling yourself it isn't stalking if it's for the kids.
To-Dos
1. Pull out the school year calendar and put all the dates on your calendar before you make a single appointment. Make sure everyone in the family has access to this.
2. Download the Carpool Kids app (free). It allows you to swipe to add or remove drivers, riders and set locations. I’ve used it for 2 years now and cannot say enough good things about it!
3. Remember to take copies of any form the school will need (like the Medicine Release Form) with you to your pediatrician visit.
(Want more ideas? Follow our Organizing Your Family board.)
1. Pull out the school year calendar and put all the dates on your calendar before you make a single appointment. Make sure everyone in the family has access to this.
2. Download the Carpool Kids app (free). It allows you to swipe to add or remove drivers, riders and set locations. I’ve used it for 2 years now and cannot say enough good things about it!
3. Remember to take copies of any form the school will need (like the Medicine Release Form) with you to your pediatrician visit.
(Want more ideas? Follow our Organizing Your Family board.)
Sell One Kidney Now to Pay for Everything,
(save the Other Kidney to Pay for the Holidays)
My best advice? Scour your home for what can be re-used before you go shopping. With any luck, you have stash of post-its, a new pack of athletic socks, and a backpack that can be used again this year. Pray to the Shoe Gods that someone else in your house can wear all of last years' outgrown shoes.
To-Dos:
- Have each kid review all last years’ clothes, shoes, backpacks, water bottles, and jackets to see what can be handed down or donated. Bag that stuff up immediately and get it to its new home. Once that is done, make your school shopping list.
- Have a school supply scavenger hunt within your house before you step foot in a Staples, Target or CVS. I know you have notebooks with 5 used pages sitting in your house somewhere. Get them out and use again this year.
All the time with the eating!
It’s all about pre- planning all of those meals, yo!
Start thinking about make-ahead breakfasts (if you can start a stockpile of frozen homemade breakfast burritos, you are my personal hero). Talk with the kids about what they want for lunch every day. Discuss your after school snack strategy with your shorties, otherwise they're gonna raid the Pringles and pudding cups daily.
Most importantly, figure out a game plan for getting dinner on the table every night. I strongly recommend planning every meal and snack out about 5-7 days in advance. That way you can hit the grocery store once a week.
( How I Created a Weekly Family Routine That Works for Our Family talks more about meal planning. You can also check out ourMeal Planning Pinterest board. )
Start thinking about make-ahead breakfasts (if you can start a stockpile of frozen homemade breakfast burritos, you are my personal hero). Talk with the kids about what they want for lunch every day. Discuss your after school snack strategy with your shorties, otherwise they're gonna raid the Pringles and pudding cups daily.
Most importantly, figure out a game plan for getting dinner on the table every night. I strongly recommend planning every meal and snack out about 5-7 days in advance. That way you can hit the grocery store once a week.
( How I Created a Weekly Family Routine That Works for Our Family talks more about meal planning. You can also check out ourMeal Planning Pinterest board. )
To-Dos:
- Start stocking up now on non-perishable foods (like juice boxes and snacks), as well as sandwich bags and napkins. Remember to buy extra ice-packs for lunch boxes: I guarantee last years are either leaky or MIA.
- Set the expectation that your kids pack their own lunches. I make the deal that I will shop for and prep the food, but the kids have to pack the lunchbox themselves. If you’re super cool and have the time, pack up a bunch of stuff on Sundays to get you through the week.
- Plan your dinners and grocery shop once a week. If you have a plan, there’s a better chance you won’t end up with Dominos at your door. See my in-depth blog post about creating a family routine by clicking here.
Set your house + car up to make life easier
Just like you set your house up for the Holidays, you really need to organize it to make your life easier. A little advance planning will end up saving you time in the long run.
To Dos:
- Create a drop zone for where all backpacks, sports bags and lunchboxes will go after school. The closer you can get it to the door, the better. Eliminate having bags strewn across the entire house. Check out my blog post on creating a garage mudroom/drop zone by clicking here.
- Set up a lunchbox packing “cockpit”. Make it easy to reach all the supplies you’ll need to pack a lunch. Set aside one drawer to house all the sandwich bags, Tupperware containers, napkins, etc.
- Stock your car with everything you could possible need. Granola bars, deodorant, a couple extra dollar bills, wet wipes, and a few extra water bottles will never go to waste. Check out our Car Organization board here.
Don’t be a Grinch, Enjoy the Season!
Remember, getting your home ready for Back to School is just like getting ready for the holidays. If you do a little bit of organizing in advance, it truly does pay off in the end. You've got this!
If you’re in your 30- 40’s, chances are that you have both sets of parents and they are in relatively good health. I am fortunate that my parents and my in-laws are all enjoying their retirements, traveling, and hobbies. We haven’t yet had to face any declining health, etc. with our aging parents (knock on wood). Although it may be awkward, now is the perfect time to start having the preliminary discussions about their Later Life Plans. In this blog post, I’ll set out some baby steps to get you started. As a bonus, I've created afree printable discussion guide to help you get started.
Want to help organize your aging parents? Read on.
Start Talking Before It Gets Awkward
Helping your aging parent is not an easy task. Just like life insurance, it’s much easier to talk about Later Life plans before anyone needs it. If you can start the family conversation process while everyone is still young + healthy, it gives you the luxury of time. Waiting until someone is suddenly ill, broke, or dead is only going to cause stress, misunderstandings, and very often, family strife.
I Know Your Excuses...because they’re the Same Ones I Used
Raise your hand if any of these are your reasons for NOT talking about Later Life Plans with your aging parents (APs).
- For APs, NOT TALKING about things is the norm.
- Ditto that for many families. And if you come from the Midwest (like me), we truly excel at not talking about things!
- Talking about Later Life Plans means eventually talking about Death. And nobody likes to think about that.
- There is legal paperwork involved and it’s too complicated, expensive, confusing, and/or overwhelming to start.
- There’s some sort of family discord and somebody will definitely object, be offended and/or hurt by the efforts to discuss Later Life.
- Everyone assumes that the adult child living closest to Mom or Dad will take care of it all.
- Money. Discussing financial plans for Later Life is awkward at best, taboo at worst.
Suck it Up, Buttercup.
I hear your reasons why you can’t do it. I get it. But I’m here to tell you to suck it up, Buttercup, and get it done. No more excuses. Call, email, Skype or visit your aging parent in the next 2 days and start the conversation.
Timing Is Everything
(aka Don’t Start Talking at Thanksgiving Dinner)
Pick a time when there are no distractions or other obligations, so you can focus entirely on the conversation and give it your undivided attention. Note: the middle of your nephew’s graduation or during Thanksgiving dinner are AWFUL times! Same goes for when anyone involved has been drinking. Choose a quiet moment when there is a lull in family activity so you can focus on the conversation.
Emphasize Your Role as an Advocate
EXPLICITLY state that you want to help your aging parent fulfill their wishes and they can depend on you. Be very transparent that you aren’t looking to influence their decisions, lay claim to the family jewels, or any other shenanigans. I’d recommend transparency with your siblings, too. You don't want it to get weird.
End the Conversation with a Plan, No Matter How Small
You are probably not going to figure out the Later Life Plans for both your aging parents in one talk, so plan for the next step. Set a timeline, an attainable goal, or assign someone responsibility to complete something.
For example, you could say “Next time we talk, I’ll bring along a printed copy of a blank Living Will for us to discuss”. You also want to make sure you have an agreed-upon plan if your loved ones can no longer make decisions or in the event in an emergency.
A great resource is this free conversation guide, created by A Place for Mom.
For example, you could say “Next time we talk, I’ll bring along a printed copy of a blank Living Will for us to discuss”. You also want to make sure you have an agreed-upon plan if your loved ones can no longer make decisions or in the event in an emergency.
A great resource is this free conversation guide, created by A Place for Mom.
Conversation #1:
What’s the Plan for All the Stuff in the House.
Your aging parents have probably lived in their home for years, if not decades. That means it is CHOCK FULL, right?!? Your older parents' home probably has a mixture of items in it.
Things They are Holding Onto (and SHOULD)
- Jewelry
- Sterling Silver (but not silver plated items)
- Coin, stamp, artwork, gun, crystal or other valuable collections
- Truly unique, high-end antiques that are in pristine condition
- Family photos
- Sentimental items (christening & wedding gowns, military memorabilia, etc.)
Things with Perceived Value, But Unfortunately Not Much Financial Value Anymore
The best way to describe this is to quote this article from Forbes magazine: “Sorry, Nobody Wants Your Parents’ Stuff”. Start planning now for what will become of:
The best way to describe this is to quote this article from Forbes magazine: “Sorry, Nobody Wants Your Parents’ Stuff”. Start planning now for what will become of:
- “Brown” furniture
- Most mass-produced china and glassware
- Tchotchkes
- Organs (the musical instrument, not your innards)
Things That I Beg You to Throw Away or Donate
- Greeting cards, magazines and newspapers with no historical significance
- Old Tupperware, appliances with frayed cords, and cookbooks
- Flower delivery vases
- Plastic souvenir cups and empty Cool Whip bowls. Trust me: your aging parents have these.
- Your school papers, textbooks, and every drawing you ever did. Keep your diploma, let the rest of it go.
- 80% of the stuff stored in the garage
- Clothing that hasn't been worn in decades
Want to help your aging parents with clearing out all the stuff in the house?
That's where I can help! Click here to learn more about my in-person downsizing services.
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Clutter Puts the Rage in Garage
The 3 Commandments of Closet Organization
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Clutter Puts the Rage in Garage
The 3 Commandments of Closet Organization
Conversation #2:
Four Important Legal Papers
*Note: I am a not a licensed attorney or financial adviser. Any advice I give is of a personal nature. Please consult with a professional regarding your legal and financial needs.
There are 4 important legal documents you should ensure your aging parent has.
There are 4 important legal documents you should ensure your aging parent has.
- Will: An up-to-date Will is an important document.
- Living Will (also called Advance Health Care Directive)
- Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care:
- Durable Power of Attorney for Finances:
- Organ Donation registration
- Final Disposition Instructions (funeral and burial wishes)
- Digital Legacy Plan (learn more about what this ishere)
How can you find out what documents you need in your state?
The best way to find out exactly what sort of documents are required by your state is to google “Advance Directives (Your State)”. Then choose a site that is an official state website, NOT a for-profit business. You can print most of the forms free of charge.
Want more Advice on Helping your Aging Parents?
- Come follow me on Pinterest: I have a great collection of information to help you + your aging parents.
- Join the Sage Advice Monthly E-News. Every month I share a easy tip to help organize your aging parents.
They have all the papers in order! Now what?
Once you’ve confirmed that all the paperwork is complete, you’ll also want to make sure that all the key decision makers are aware of the wishes of your aging parent and they have Xeroxed copies. This means people named as executors/agents/proxy, family members, healthcare providers, etc. The simplest way to do this is to make a list of who all gets a copy, then seal copies in an envelope and deliver to them. The recipient of the documents should secure the documents in a safe or safety deposit box.
You've started the process of later life planning!
Starting the talk with your aging parent about their Later Life Plans can be a difficult topic. But please: don’t put it off! The next time to call or visit with your aging parent, ask permission to help start the conversation with them. Once you start talking, the ball will be rolling.
Coming soon...Later Life Planning Guide, workshops, and one-on-one coaching
Later this year, I'll be offering a Later Life Planning Guide, workshops and one-on-one coaching. Contact me now if you'd like to join the wait list!
Things had gotten so hectic at our house that I was running on "Survival Mode" most days. The busy family schedule and lack of routine was killing me! When I created a Weekly Family Routine to plan out all the family logistics and meal/grocery plans for the whole week, my life was forever changed! Read on to see how I did it and how you can too! Bonus: I'm sharing a FREE download of the Weekly Family Routine Checklist with y'all!
Want to see how i CREATED MY FAMILY ROUTINE? kEEP READING...
Who's running the show at your house?
Chances are, if you are a Working Mom or a WAHM (Work at Home Mom), you are running the whole show in your house. You set up most of the appointments, do the meal planning, shopping and errands, get the kids where they need to go, and everything else. I'm not throwing shade at any of the spouses out there, but face it: Moms Run The Show. And if you're anything like me, you've found that like Kermit the Frog says, It Ain't Easy Being Green.
I bet you're on "survival mode" a lot, Right?
I feel you: it's a lot. Our family is just like yours:
- My spouse works and he travels for work. His travel isn't on a regular basis, so sometimes he is home and can help out, other times it is just me running the show.
- I'm transistioning from being a WAHM to becoming a new small business owner. I'm self-employed, so I create my own schedule. But I now have all the resposnisiblities of being the WAHM, with the added bonus of trying to get a business off the ground. Festive, right?!?
- We have one shorty who goes to school, after-school sports practice, tutoring, and everything that goes along with being a middle schooler.
- Our whole famliy has a busy calendar of volunteering commitments, carpools, as well as a full social calendar.
- We are always on the run! And we only have ONE shorty: I know that those of you with 2,3,4, and 5 have an exponentialy difficult schedule.
This is how we were rolling
You know the feeling: things were falling through the cracks. I'd get an appointment reminder call from the dentist that I had forgotten to write down and have to reschedule it. I'd spend a good portion of Sunday on the World's Longest Carpool Text Chain. Dinner many nights ended up being Publix fried chicken and a bag of Caesar salad. ( No disrespect to Publix: y'all rule.) Flying by the seat of our pants had become a way of life. And I was losing my dang mind.
Something had to give
I hit the point where I couldn't take it any more. There may have been tears, I'm not going to lie.
When I finally stopped blubbering, I knew I had to do something to fix this mess. If you know you need to change your life, you naturally consult Oprah, right? That was my first instinct, too! Unfortunatley, neither Oprah or Gayle were available to change my life for me, so I had to do the next best thing: I went to Pinterest.
After lots of reading up on how to manage my family's time and thinking about how I wanted our schedules to look, I decided to commit to A Weekly Family Routine. This means carving out 2 hours once a week (I do Sundays) to dedicate to planning out the whole week in advance.
When I finally stopped blubbering, I knew I had to do something to fix this mess. If you know you need to change your life, you naturally consult Oprah, right? That was my first instinct, too! Unfortunatley, neither Oprah or Gayle were available to change my life for me, so I had to do the next best thing: I went to Pinterest.
After lots of reading up on how to manage my family's time and thinking about how I wanted our schedules to look, I decided to commit to A Weekly Family Routine. This means carving out 2 hours once a week (I do Sundays) to dedicate to planning out the whole week in advance.
Two hours? On a sunday? Good luck with that.
I see your smirk and I hear you screaming "Ain't Happening". Simmer down. I swear it can really be done. But first let's answer the obvious:
NO: it doesn't have to be on a Sunday. If you have a couple hours of downtime on Tuesday morning, do your Family Routine then. If you have time while the kids are at volleyball practice, do it then. Just figure out when you have the time and do it. Sunday works for me.
NO: it doesn't have to be 2 hours all at once. I mentally split the project time into two portions: Logistics and Meal Planning.
I often find that I have one hour free on Saturday (while waiting at sports practice), which is when I bang out the Meal and Grocery Plan. Then on Sunday morning/early afternoon, I knock out all of the logisitical stuff.
Remember: I am not the Boss of You. YOU DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!!
NO: it doesn't have to be on a Sunday. If you have a couple hours of downtime on Tuesday morning, do your Family Routine then. If you have time while the kids are at volleyball practice, do it then. Just figure out when you have the time and do it. Sunday works for me.
NO: it doesn't have to be 2 hours all at once. I mentally split the project time into two portions: Logistics and Meal Planning.
I often find that I have one hour free on Saturday (while waiting at sports practice), which is when I bang out the Meal and Grocery Plan. Then on Sunday morning/early afternoon, I knock out all of the logisitical stuff.
Remember: I am not the Boss of You. YOU DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!!
so you do...what exactly??
In my perfect world, I would sit down on my porch with a sweet Spotify playlist, a hot cuppa coffee (or a cold beer, if it's Saturday afternoon...don't judge me), my supplies and get to work. But sometimes I work on the logistics in the car while I'm waiting at tutoring. I've done my Meal Plan and Grocery Planning while sitting on the cold floor in the hallway at a swim meet while waiting for my shorty's next event. What it boils down to is I sit down and dedicate time and effort to planning it all out. You have to commit to it, or it's not going to work.
What are these supplies you speak of?
My favorite part: a supply list! Gather these things up before you even start so you're not running around and wasting your precious time! Here is what I make sure I have:
- Iphone. We keep our work schedules, appointments, etc. digitally, so I need my phone to see what's on the plate for the week.
- My paper planner. I'm old-school and still use a paper planner. If you can survive with just digital planning, I applaud you, but that's not my jam. I need to write it all down and see how it is going to play out.
- Paper Family calendar, if that is how you roll. I don't, but if you do, get it down off the wall and show it who is the Boss.
- Pencils, pretty colored gel pens, post-its and binder clips. That is just how I do. I keep a pencil case in my car with all these supplies so I can plan on the run, if needed. I just heard you say "Nerd Alert", by the way.
- The Grocery List pad. I have a custom one, which is gorgeous, but I also love the All Out Of grocery list from Knock Knock. OrganizeHer also makes a great product, and they are availble at Target. Doesn't matter what you use, just have something you can write on.
- Meal Planner Notepad. Again, I'm old school. I write out the Meal Plan on a piece of paper and it is posted in the kitchen for quick reference. I love the Knock Knock product. It can be on the prettiest paper or a sheet of notebook paper: who cares as long as you have a plan!
Supplies: check. Now what?
This is where I created a cheat-sheet list of all the things that have to be organized each week. In our famliy, the Logisitics Plan looks like this
- Work and travel schedules for parents. If your shorty has an afterschool job, add in that too.
- Afterschool activities. Practices, tutors, whatever.
- Carpool. Want to change your life? Start using the free carpool-kids.com/Carpool Kids app. It's a free app that lets you and other parents set up who is driving which kids to what activity, all within the app. No more Sunday carpool text chains from Hell!
- Social plans for everyone, including babysitter needs.
- Workouts
- Cleaning the house. Whether it's scheduling your cleaning lady or figuring out who is going to scrub the toliets and when, make a plan to get your crib clean. Don't be nasty.
- Date or Famliy Night. Sometimes that just means frozen pizza and Netflix, but who cares.
- Errands, including our big ones...Target and Groceries. If you're a famliy of more than 3, I'll guess you have a Costco/Sams/BJ's run once a week or so, too.
- What's for Dinner every day. I rarely plan breakfasts, and lunch is usually leftovers. When planning dinners, I take into account practices, work schedules, etc.
- Grocery list
- Cookbooks, Magazines, and/or Pinterest Boards
- Grocery Store sales flyer (which I access digitally at our grocery store, Harris Teeter)
get your game face on: now you have to plan it all out
Alright, you're going to need full brain power for this part. Take a giant gulp of your coffee, focus and get down to it.
Here is how I build-out our week:
Here is how I build-out our week:
- Work schedule and appointments come first. Those are the non-negotiables (aka make or cost me money), so they get priority.
- All after-school activites get scheduled next. Those activities cost me money too, so I am making sure I take care of them.
- Carpool is next, closely followed by any babysitting needs. *Note: I usually try to book my sitter as soon as I put an event on the calendar, to ensure I don't forget until the last minute. The Sunday Rountine has saved me many times from forgetting to book a sitter.
- Errands and Cleaning. My biggest tip is to schedule errands during downtimes. For example, on the day I drive carpool to a 1.5 hour practice, I drop the kids, hit the post office, library, and Target (including Starbucks) and get back to practice in time. The other way to roll is to just bite the bullet and do it all in one day. Again, do what works for you.
- Groceries fall in last. That is flexible, depending on our Meal Plan. I personally shop at two grocery stores: one I go in and the other I place my order ahead of time and drive through. The drive through service at Harris Teeter is the BEST time saver in the world. I highly, highly recommend it. The $5 it costs will be the best $5 you spend all day.
COngrats: you now have a plan of attack for the week.
Now you gotta share the love!
Having a Sweet Plan is super, but you've gotta get that info out to your peeps. Make sure everything gets put into your Icalendar/family calendar. I personally input everything into our 3 shared calendars within ICal:
- My Work calendar: these are tasks specific to my business. For example, I might schedule "Write blog post" on Tuesday from 2-4pm, but this isn't vital for my family to know. It's just to keep me on task.
- C+C calendar: (the C's are my spouse and my initals). These are schedule items that my husband needs to see and/or be aware of. So all household appointments, my off-site jobs (for safety), etc. I do also add any household projects, like "shop for helath insurance" or "car in for service", so my spouse knows what household projects are in progress .
- Family calendar: all three of us see this. This includes all afterschool activites, carpools, social calendar and babysitter, and school dates. My shorty's school sends out a newsletter with test dates, so I put those dates into the Family calendar.
Get your fam on board, toot sweet.
This can also be called the Getting Buy-In stage. If your family has always just played it fast and loose, then you suddenly have this gorgeous master plan, it's gonna take a while to get everyone on board. It'll probably be a love-hate relationship for the first couple of weeks. They will love that there is a plan for everything and things will go much more smoothly. However, everyone in the family has to get used to being accountable to the schedule. Target run scheduled for Tuesday pm? Then everyone better put their stuff on the list by Tuesday morning, or it ain't getting bought.
How's that all working for you, you ask?
After all this, it total Sunshine, Puppy Dogs and Rainbows, right? YES~!! Life is now perfect. It's so great, you're considering writing a Facebook post about your perfect family and your perfect life. Right???
Ok: not 100%. You're going to forget to schedule things. There will be push-back from the famliy about "the crazy schedule Mom made", and maybe more. But trust me when I say: it's way better than it was before, and it will only get better as you keep doing it. The key is to not give up. Listen, we all know the Moms usually run the show at home, so if you have the job, OWN THE DANG JOB.
Ok: not 100%. You're going to forget to schedule things. There will be push-back from the famliy about "the crazy schedule Mom made", and maybe more. But trust me when I say: it's way better than it was before, and it will only get better as you keep doing it. The key is to not give up. Listen, we all know the Moms usually run the show at home, so if you have the job, OWN THE DANG JOB.
I own that weekly family routine. you CAN own your family routine, too.
At the end of it all, I can say I'm proud of the way I run this house. Our stuff gets done. Our friends, family and clients know we are a dependable bunch. Our house is clean, our dinners are on the table, and we have the time to spend with each other and on the things that matter to us.
You can do this too! You already run the show...just make it easier on yourself!
You can do this too! You already run the show...just make it easier on yourself!
Want help getting started with your weekly Family routine?
Are you ready to start? Great! To get you started I've created this FREE downloadable Weekly Family Routine Checklist. I love my followers, so I'm spreading the love to y'all.
Have questions? Let's hear what you have!!
Have questions? Let's hear what you have!!
Related article:
3 Ways to Organize Your Life + Time with the Erin Condren Life Planner
3 Ways to Organize Your Life + Time with the Erin Condren Life Planner
Hey There!
I'm Candi.
I'm an Estate Clearing Pro + Professional Organizer, helping people with family in senior care or that have lost someone to clear out all the contents of the house within a week.
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